Well, this obviously isn’t 52 photos, but there really isn’t much that’s been left out.
Basically the last almost two months have been procrastinate/procrastinate/oh shit homework/sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep/procrastinate/Skype/procrastinate/squeee about university stuff/oh shit homework/repeat endlessly for 52 days. I guess the photos don’t show that, but even I don’t want to take endless photos of my computer screen.
Seeing as I have an English assignment due tomorrow and all I’ve done since I meant to start working was watch two movies and write this, I’d better go.
Once again, despite the multitude of clocks in my room, time had completely slipped away from me. We’ve gone from the depth of winter to a beautiful summer’s day (for now!); and I haven’t written anything.
It’s not for lack of ideas, more from a general lack of motivation to get anything done. For a while there I didn’t live so much from day to day and more project to project, the only punctuation in my life being tests and deadlines. Even though I still have two huge deadlines coming up, and my final exams in May, there’s something in the sun that makes me want to do more than study and waste my nights on tumblr. I know, I know, shocking.
I also belatedly came to the realization that everything is changing. Isn’t that a scary thought!? I say this every time, but I want to remember who I was, what I was thinking, what I was passionate about. Here’s to another fresh start!
I’ve always been under the impression that I tend to bite off more than I can chew, and that there just isn’t enough time in the day to properly do everything I’d like to.
I’ve come to realize that maybe the problem isn’t that I have too much to do, it’s that I try to do too much at once. Maybe it isn’t that I’m simply not capable of doing everything I’d like to, it’s that I don’t work effectually enough to get anything done.
I’ve never been a very focused individual, so keeping my mind on one task for long enough to finish it has always been a challenge. When I write an essay, I don’t write an essay. I write a few sentences, I make some tea, maybe see what’s happening on twitter, write a few more sentences, talk to a friend on skype, eat an orange, write a paragraph, check on the scrabble games I’m playing, write a few more sentences, etc., etc.
I always get what needs to be done finished on time, but I feel like I never get things done to the best of my potential.
For better or for worse, I happen to be an incredibly willful, and ever so slightly spoiled, person. As such, I tend to refuse to not get what I want, not so much in a material sense but in a more general sense. I want to finish my physics course? Well fuck, I’m going to finish it, even if it means extra stress and extra work and a less than ideal mark. So this is it. I’m refusing to let something as dumb as a fidgety brain stop me from reaching my potential!
I still don’t have a clue as to how I’m going to manage this change, but there will be change. I guess the first step is probably to just stop jumping around and get shit done, so let’s start there, yeah?